From the musical “Letters To Daddy:”
Here’s the resolution song for Caroline’s interaction with “Billy the bully” from the previous post.
While not excusing hurtful or aggressive behavior, when we take the time to look behind the mask of a “bully” we often find someone who is being bullied somewhere else in their life and lashing out a convenient “targets”. Like the game of “hot potato” we humans seem to unconsciously know that if we feel bad we can find some relief by hurting someone else.
Unfortunately now that “someone else” is carrying the poison of the pain…And often THEY lash out at someone else. So it becomes a chain or a cycle of bullying.
This is the “Bully’s” secret. When we realize they are often good kids who are attempting to get rid of bad feelings, we can begin to help them get good feelings preemptively. It’s not always easy but it IS possible. I go pretty deep with this in my “Bully Proof Kid” book. But this song is kind of where the idea started for me doing Bullying Prevention programs for schools.
BTW the singer you hear on this track is Rilee O’Neil. She was 12 years old when she sang this so beautifully. The incomparable Joe Mennonna plays an amazing soprano sax (as well as a truly sensitive arrangement).
Please click the arrow to play:
You Have A Secret
Song # 365 | August –Sept 2007 | CD: Letters To Daddy
There’s a folder full of letters
In a pile on the desk
From the students in my father’s class
And every letter in the folder
Tells a story of getting older
Learning lessons, growing up fast
Here’s a letter from a kid who
Doesn’t know just what he did to
Deserve the beatings from his dad
Was his behavior all that bad?
Or did he just get in the way
At the end of his father’s rotten day?
Refrain:
You have a secret
We all have secrets
You have a secret
And it’s safe with me
So now he walks into the school yard
Acting tough and cool and hard
He’s the bully all the students fear
But if they could only see his tears
While his father drinks his beer
Hiding underneath the cellar stairs
Refrain:
Take a moment to pay attention
To the things that kids don’t mention
If you look you’ll glimpse it in their eyes
And now I realize
There’s a lesson here for me
That people are much than what we see…
Refrain:
Copyright 2007 by 4E Productions. ASCAP. All Rights Reserved.
Photo – screen shot of Letters To Daddy Live Performance Video
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